How to Heal Painful Memories

Painful experiences from your past can have powerful effects long into your adult life. Memories of these experiences stay lodged in the subconscious, and can be triggered by any current event that even remotely reminds us of the earlier painful event. A fight with a boyfriend can trigger memories of an absent father that starts an emotional tailspin. An angry boss can leave someone who had an abusive parent shaking inside, unable to defend themselves.There are various types of psychological talk therapies that aim at healing and resolving the wounding of the psyche that was caused by earlier childhood experiences. For many people, however, talk therapies are limited in being able to completely heal the original emotional wound, as intellectual understanding is often not enough to completely resolve and release it from the subconscious.

An innovative new method which can be used to address this problem is meridian tapping therapy, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). EFT is an energy based technique based on acupuncture that has been found to be remarkably effective in healing past traumas, and is beginning to gain acceptance by the more traditional psychotherapeutic community. It simply involves tapping on a series of acupuncture points while holding the issue being treated in mind. The actual technique is relatively easy to learn, and can be self-applied with minimal training. (Though if you have problematic mental health issues you may want to consult with an experienced EFT health care practitioner.)

Recall a past experience that still holds a lot of emotional charge for you when you think about it. Replay the event in your mind as if it was a movie. If you could give this memory/movie a title, what would it be? For instance a memory of a parent yelling might simply be “Rage!” (The only important point is that it fits how you see and feel the memory when you think about it.) Next, mentally give the memory a rating from 1-10 on how much emotional charge it holds for you, 10 being very charged, 1 being very little. This will help you to assess where you are and how many repetitions are needed.

Now, begin the tapping sequence. With the three middle fingers of one hand, tap on the outside edge of the palm of your opposite hand. (This is called the “karate chop point”, because it is the contact part of the hand used when performing a karate chop.) While tapping on the karate chop point, say to yourself, “Even though I have this _____(movie title, for example, “Rage!”), I deeply and completely accept myself.” (This is called the “set-up.”)

The next part is to tap 7-9 times on each of the EFT points of the remaining sequence while repeating the reminder phrase.
1) Begin tapping on the beginning of the eyebrow (closest to the nose) and repeat, “This ______ (movie title)”.
2)Tap the outer of the eye bone socket , repeat “This______”.
3) Tap under the eye, repeat “ This________”.
4) Tap on the area below the nose above the upper lip, repeat “This ________”.
5)Tap on the chin below the lower lip, repeat “This_______”.
6) Tap where the collar bones meet at the to of the breastbone, repeat “This_____________.”
7) Tap at the bottom of the armpit, repeat “This_________.”
8)Tap at the top of the head, repeat “This _________”.

Now check in with yourself. Think about the memory—how charged does it feel to you now? It should feel slightly less. (If it feels more charged, you are getting more in touch with feelings that were buried below the surface.) What number rating would you give it now? Continue repeating the entire process until the memory holds very little charge for you. This may take several repetitions if it is a very charged memory. Be patient with the process and yourself.

Remember that this experience has stayed with you for a long time and it may take a few repetitions to eliminate its hold on your psyche. Also, give it some time–you may not notice the full benefit of the tapping until a few days after. Try this healing technique on yourself—you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!